Wasting Money on a Wedding vs. Wasting Money on Yourself

把钱花在婚礼上还是把钱花在自己身上

用来办一场精致盛大的婚礼的钱，能够做这么多的事情

By Allee Manning and Kaitlyn Kelly

Everyone knows that weddings — the most elaborate and costly form of old school pageantry still acceptable in modern society — are stupid expensive. But it turns out Americans are now blowing even more money than ever before on what’s supposed to be the most magical day of any couple’s life together. Money that, to be honest, could be spent on much, much cooler stuff.

婚礼是最为繁复¹昂贵的传统庆祝仪式，然而这一仪式在当代社会仍然广为接受²。谁都知道，婚礼出奇的贵。然而，美国人现今在婚礼上花的钱要比从前多得多，只为了这一天成为每对夫妻共同生活中最为魔幻的一天。说实在的，这些钱完全可以花到酷得多的东西上。

The Knot released its annual wedding survey last month, with findings showing that couples are spending a mind-numbing average of $32,641 on matrimonial celebrations. The study includes data from nearly 18,000 pairs across the country. While the cost of a wedding varied greatly from city to city — reaching a nauseating high of $82,300 in Manhattan — the price was steep no matter where couples chose to get hitched. All this despite the fact that weddings (and marriages in general, honestly) can be a fairly impractical thing to invest in. Seriously, even 50 Cent doesn’t spend as much in a day as you’re spending on a reception band alone. Think about that.

爱结公司³（the Knot）上个月发布了年度婚礼调查，调查显示，平均每对夫妻在婚庆仪式上的花销达到了惊人的32,641美元。研究囊括了美国全国范围内近1.8万对夫妻的数据。虽然婚礼的花销在不同的城市各有不同（如在曼哈顿高达恐怖的82,300美元），情侣们无论在哪里结婚价格都十分昂贵⁴。即便如此，婚礼（或是说实在的，婚姻整体）其实是在投资方面都是十分不现实/不明智⁵的东西。不骗你，50 Cent（美国说唱歌手）一天花的钱也没有你在一个婚礼（迎宾）乐队上花的钱多。好好想想吧。

So rather than buying into the Marriage Industrial Complex on a union that may or may not work out, wouldn’t it make more sense to save your hard-earned money by forgoing the big ceremony for the major expenses you’re likely to face in married life? You know, like a mortgage. Or braces for your wallet-draining children-to-be. And if your fianceé is dead set on a fairytale wedding? You could always just blow your financial load on a plenty fulfilling single life.

所以，与其买婚礼产业情节的账，把钱花在不一定有没有结果的结合上，把你的“血汗钱”省下来，不办大型仪式，而是把钱留下用在婚后生活可能遇到的主要开销上，不是更有意义？比如，用来还房贷。或者为未来很费钱的孩子做准备。如果你的未婚夫/妻非要一个梦幻的婚礼不可？你大可以用你的钱来充实自己的单身生活。⁶

With nearly $33,000 to spend in the life of a singledom, you could get pretty far when it comes to amenities and entertainment. Perhaps the best part of being free from the shackles of wedding planning is the opportunity to treat yourself. Like, why drop $1,400 on a frilly dress you’ll wear once before it turns to moth food when you can rock the most expensive shoes of the season and look great doing it?

有近3.3万美元可以花在单身生活上，在休憩⁷和娱乐方面的资金已经十分充足（忘了考试时的译法了，不过应该类似）⁸。没有婚礼规划束缚的最好的部分，是你有机会来犒劳（奖励，考试的时候实在是提笔忘字，相比起“犒劳”的“犒”怎么写了）自己。比方说，与其花1,400美元买一件花哨的裙子，穿一次之后就“喂蛾子”，何不省下钱来买一双当季最贵的鞋子来穿，还能美丽动人？

And while weddings are supposed to be all about the happy couple, everyone knows that’s bull, because you have to feed your guests and provide them entertainment and put a roof over their heads for a couple of hours and likely go into debt doing it. But screw it. Here’s a modest proposal: Instead of shelling out nearly $600 on a tiered fondant monstrosity for your guests, you could always splurge on a year’s worth of Brazilian bikini waxes. As the saying goes: Let them eat cake.

而且，虽说婚礼的一切都应围绕⁹着那对儿幸福的情侣，但谁都知道那是扯淡。因为你要为宾客准备食物，提供娱乐活动，还要让他们在这几个小时里有地方呆，做完这些你也就债务缠身了¹⁰。去他的，给你一个便宜点的建议：不要花近600美元买难看的蛋糕塔给客人，这些钱都够你做一年的巴西式除毛了。俗话说得好：他们咋不吃蛋糕（点击查看释义）。

In addition to simply having fun, there are some more practical ways to spend your wedding purse as well. For instance, purchasing and providing for a nice house cat rather than dropping major dough on finger bling intended for fending off hotties for the rest of your life. Fluffy won’t care if you bring home someone new every weekend — he’ll just hate everyone indiscriminately. Or you could save money on that expensive ceremony venue by purchasing your own funeral casket. Sure, you don’t get to take that momentous walk down the aisle, but what’s that worth, really, when we all die alone?

除了单纯找乐子，也有更实际的方式来使用你婚礼的花销。比如，买一只不错的家猫来养，不要花大价钱买颗¹¹钻戒，让自己下半辈子都远离帅哥美女的“骚扰（打搅）”。你的猫“毛毛”不会在意你每个周末带回家人都不一样——他只会毫无歧视地讨厌他们所有人。或者，你也可以省下租昂贵婚礼场地的钱给自己买个棺材。对，你是没有那个难忘的结婚仪式，可是说真的，到你独自老死的那天，那么个仪式有什么用？

Translated by Shane